Our children’s hair is definitely one of those topics we never discussed in premarital counseling, but ended up causing friction in our marriage.
Similar to any dispute, the hair was not the issue. So the goal is always to find the underlying problem.
If you too are experiencing friction in your partnership over hair, try these questions ...
Who did your hair when you were younger?
What was your favorite style?
What was your least favorite part of getting your hair done?
What does hair mean to you?
What does hair represent in your family?
Who did your mom’s hair (and other womyn in your family)?
What was that process like?
What did you consider a bad hair day?
Are there any superstitions or cultural beliefs that you remember from your childhood?
What caught your eye about my hair when you first met me?
These questions may not get to the bottom of the tension, but they will allow you and your partner to open up, and get a better understanding of each other’s hair norms.
Until next time.