I did everything I was supposed to - completed two bachelors, obtained my master's, bought a home, started my career, got married and started a family.
Photo: Boston basics
I thought these steps were guaranteed keys to success and a fulfilled life…but I wasn’t able to enjoy it.
When I went to work - the sun was up, and when I got out - the sun was down. I had to ask permission to take vacation days and was nervous about requesting impromptu mental health days (just a break from the hustle and bustle). I couldn’t fathom dealing with grown adults fighting over silly things like coming to work on-time, while my child seemed confused about who I was. After working so hard to get where I was in life, I did not think this was how my life should be.
I came home one day to my husband's blood-shot eyes. He stared at me and said, “Why don't you resign?" I thought he was being sarcastic like all the other times, but this time he did not smile. He didn’t have to tell me he was tired from working a full-time job and having to care for a 9 month-old, because I was too. I was thrilled that my husband begged me to stay home. But I was nervous at the same time, after all….
I just returned from maternity leave and had taken this promotion less than a year ago. My mom raised me to be financially independent, it would feel unnatural depending on a man for money. And would I be able to find work once our child becomes school-aged? What if our marriage doesn’t work out, I am not the type of woman to ask a man for anything after we split.
I prayed and prayed some more. Reluctantly, I gave my job 30 days notice and have been a stay-at-home mother for the past 4 years.
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Until next time.
Peace & Love
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