All dads are not the same, so this blog refers to my children’s father.
1. We Are Different For A Reason
If we both did the same thing, there would be no need for both of us. I was frequently annoyed that my husband didn’t know too much about their daily happenings (like what their last nightmare was about). I now know he focuses on planning their future (like their financial independence) - which makes it easier for me to focus on their day-to-day needs.
2. I Have NO Idea What a Father Looks Like
I was raised by a single mother and a matriarchal extended family, where most of the leaders were wombmen and the men came and went as they pleased. I want my children to have a father as a steady male role model in their lives.
3. He Doesn’t Know What A Father Looks Like
He too was mainly raised by wombmen. I guess I unfairly expected him to be the perfect dad, but I make mistakes as a mother. Furthermore, I am not sure I could have been completely prepared for motherhood - the same goes for fatherhood.
4. We Will Both Be The "Mean One"
I get tired of being the rule enforcer all the time (like telling the kids it's bed time). I’m not sure if it is his laid back personality or the fact that he is mostly at work, but he rarely takes on the “mean” role. I have seen him be harder on the girls (for their schooling) and he assures me they will not like him in their teens (because of dating amongst other things).
5. His Role As A Father Is Separate From His Role As My Husband
If I get annoyed with him as a husband doesn't mean he is a lacking as a father too.
6. My Mom Tried To Do Both Doesn't Mean I Have To
My mother was the financial provider and the nurturer - and naturally I was raised to do both as well. I’m very happy that my mother ingrained financial independence in me. Now that we have our own family, I can definitely take on being the provider, but I prefer being able to put all my energy in solely raising our children.
7. The Kids Love Him Just The Way He Is
Although many things used to frustrate me about the way he parents (like how much screen time he gave them). The kids love him just the way he is.
Until next time...
Peace & Love,
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