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A Matted Marriage

I recently wrote a post about matted hair after braids.

As I reread the solution, I couldn’t help but realize unwanted hair mats are great metaphors for wounded relationships.

If you’re currently experiencing this, my heart goes out to you.

Please know intense disagreements (like mats) naturally occur because our strands are so closely knit (like marriage). And just like curls, certain situations with a spouse can lead to a jumbled state that may seem difficult to resolve.

Ignoring the problem causes it to grow and potentially creates more harm. You can totally cut it (or them) off. But if the goal is length and longevity, this only serves as a temporary solution. Getting to the root of the problem (such as dryness for hair, or lack of empathy in marriage), naturally has compounding effects.

There are also instances where parts of the relationship (like hair) are worth salvaging, and if you’re interested in investing in its growth, try to...

  • collect the right tools

  • get comfortable

  • be patient, and ...

  • tackle the issue(s) in small sections

baby's hair that appears to be matted, but is in it's natural state

I know it’s easier said, than done. But similar to unraveling hair, it takes time. And regardless of the outcome, you’ll be glad you‘ve learned more about yourself and mastered some new skills.

On the flip side, not all mats are unwanted. Locs are intentionally matted sections that are super soft, can be super long and are uniquely gorgeous. When they mature (that’s when the hair is deeply intertwined and matted), they serve as a spiritual protection for our vulnerable crowns. But the wearer may become frustrated with the maturing process. For example, if the hair doesn’t loc fast enough, neat enough, or if there’s external criticism. Naturally formed locs also require ...

  • self-love

  • self-confidence

  • patience and ...

  • special treatment

The decision to mat or not ultimately depends on the wearer, where they are in their journey and their vision for themselves.

While I don’t know your specific hair or marital goals. Know that you are in control. Stay focused on the vision and believe the Universe has your back. I’m praying for healing in your marriage, clarity in your mind and peace in your heart.

You got this! I’m rooting for you!

What situation are you currently in? Is your marriage currently detangling an unwanted mat, or are you tending to a beautifully formed one? How are you enjoying the process? Need to schedule a one-on-one? Use code: HEART2HEART.

Until next time...

Love The Journey,

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